you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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