forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
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Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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