by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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