We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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