You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
