its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
