dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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