This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
