This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
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So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
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If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight