..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Let the clothes fall where they may.