What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize