somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
