im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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