I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
