Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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