oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
