i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
worst night to have a conscience
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
