The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
