No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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