he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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