so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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