You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
