no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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