I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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