you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
high people should be assigned attendants
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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