he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
