your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize