I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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