You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she looked like the before picture.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
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