Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
