you mean i was at the winter classic?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
