Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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