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I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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