Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize