did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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