what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You're a waste of cheezeits
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
