The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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