We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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