he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize