I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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