So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
