Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
