soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
