They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
