just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
