what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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