By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
