I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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