Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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