My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize