Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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