Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
