What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
