Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
