12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle