Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
