Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
