Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize