I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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