Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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