Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize