What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize