As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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