she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
